dezmari:

SasuSaku Month 2017
Day 21: Not Everything’s in Black and White

After the war it took longer than Sakura thought it would
for everything to go to how it once was, if she was truthful things were never
the same. Team 7 was never able to reclaim lost time and thinking they would
was only a child’s dream she never had the courage to let go.

Kakashi was forced to take on the role as Hokage and Naruto
spend so much time learning about his upcoming responsibilities as Hokage in
and out of the village that she barely ever saw him. After being incarcerated
for months, Sasuke was finally released, but the man they let out of the cell
was a stranger.

Team 7 seemed to be broken into tiny little pieces that didn’t
seem to fit back together anymore.

The only one of them she ever saw anymore was Sasuke.

Sometimes she saw him in the training ground when the sun
hadn’t even risen and she was on her way to work, other times she saw him in
the market attempting to hold the bag of vegetables with his remaining arm, but
most times she saw him when she took rounds at the rebuilding sites across the
village to heal minor injuries caused by construction.

She had finished treating the injuries, minor cuts and at
least two cases of dislocated arms, after warning them to be more careful she
turned to the rebuild site. They were building and apartment complex and in the
distance she could see as Sasuke helped carry building materials.

“You’re Sasuke-san’s teammate, right?” She turned to see a
middle aged man ask her, she didn’t have the heart to correct him, she hadn’t
been his teammate for a long time, so she nodded instead. “Then maybe you can
get him to take a break, he’s been working all day.”

Her gaze turned to Sasuke then, she walked over not knowing
what she would say when she approached him, they hadn’t spoken since the war
ended.

He caught sight of her as she walked toward him, setting
aside what he was doing he turned to her. “Sakura.”

“Sasuke.” She replied, up close he looked like he hadn’t
slept in weeks, out of breath, and probably pushing himself a little too far. His
eyes were tired, everything in him screamed exhaustion and she wanted to reach
out to him.

She had studied his medical record, even the parts that
weren’t for her to see. It was unethical, but she had read Sasuke’s psychological
report, patient expresses being tired of
living it had said, he had admitted it in a moment of weakness and
afterwards closed off.

To everyone else he would look like an exemplary citizen, or
at least someone making good use of a granted second chance. To her, he seemed
to be dragging through life, dragged down by a past he couldn’t escape and
Sakura didn’t know what to do.

“Stop looking at me like that.” He snapped, and she
remembered the file again. He’s prone to
anger. He fears compassion.

“Like what?” She asked. “I’m just worried about you, Sasuke.”
That was the wrong thing to say, he tensed up and when she reached out to him
he took a step back, out of her reach in more ways than one.

“I’m tired of everyone looking at me like I’m a time bomb, I
don’t know why I thought you’d be different. I’m not your patient so you can
stop doing whatever this is.” He gestured all around her, his words hurt. When
had she forgotten how to connect with him? Had she ever known how?

She opened her mouth to speak, but there were no right
words. We could go back to how we used to
be. It was a child’s dream. Pieces were scattered, pieces were missing, and
no amount of trying was ever going to fit the puzzle back together.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.” She was left
standing there watching his back.